After a couple of washes with the peroxide/soda mixture, Gordon seems to be pretty much clear of skunky odor. If you stick your face in his belly and sniff, you can still make out a hint of burnt rubber. The house is now OK, based on the testimony of beloved friends Alex & Jason.

When I went down to the coffee shop on Sunday morning, there was a big line. Montclair is a morning village! I stood in line, and all the while coffee smells were impregnating my hoodie – the same one I walk Gordon in. When I got home, Cassie said she could smell skunk, and made me put my clothes through the wash again. This skunk stuff makes you paranoid about smells.

I took Gordon up to the trail this morning, keeping him on the leash, and as we walked along the path, with me flashing my torch around, what did we see but a skunk – probably the skunk – trotting along by the path. Gordon saw it, but he didn’t bark or pull on the leash – he just growled a bit, snorted, and pawed the ground. He may have learned his lesson, but I’m not letting him off the leash to find out.

Meanwhile, the skunk just trots along the path, being all crepuscular. Skunk don’t care; Skunk don’t give a shit.

Recently I’ve been enjoying the local wildlife here in Oakland. When the sun is on it in the afternoon, the deck is warm enough to sit out on and enjoy, even at this time of year. There’s some big trees in the yard below ours on the hill, and squirrels, woodpeckers and other beasties do their thing at eye level. Hummingbirds come and go as well – I love them, and our neighbours have a feeder which you often see being used (you fill it with a nectar-like liquid, and the birds drink from little plastic flowers). On the larger side, the road up to our place has warning signs about deer, and there are coyotes up in the hills as well. Sadly you sometimes see dead deer and raccoons by the road, but the coyotes soon make them go away.

Unfortunately, this also means that more unwelcome critters are around as well, as we found out yesterday. When the alarm went off, I jumped up with a spark in my eye and spring in my step as usual, pulled on my sweatpants, grabbed the torch and took Gordon for his morning constitutional. We got up onto the trail that runs behind our house, and I (stupidly) let Gordon off his leash so he could go and do his business. In the semi-darkness, he sniffed around, then suddenly he growled and set off after something. Before I could react, there was a scuffle, and I saw a shape – a black and white striped shape.

Gordon suddenly stood still, shaking his head and snorting. Oh, shit.

That morning, the first day back after the new year, before going to work, I soaped and rinsed Gordon five times. Before that, I ran down to the supermarket and bought bottles of contact lens saline, which got squirted in his eyes out on the deck – we weren’t letting him inside quite yet. The neighbour texted to say “I hope that skunk didn’t get Gordon” – she could smell it. The guy in the supermarket smelt it too.

Once I’d rinsed his eyes out, I grabbed him at arms length (as far as possible – he’s now 26lbs) and put him in the tub. Five soapings and rinsings later, we thought it was mostly gone. We limited the rooms he could get in, put sheets over the other stuff, and dashed off to work – I was able to catch the last bus across the bridge, and Cassie only arrived at work two hours before her colleagues, instead of the usual three.

Our excellent and highly recommended dog walker Drake (of Real Dog Adventures) arrived to take G out later that morning, and told us the house still really smelled, and G was smelly too. We must have got used to the smell. The other dogs on the walk all wanted to get in his face and sniff him, something which he is not into at all.

I took the bus to work as usual. When I arrived, I hung my overcoat by the door, and told the receptionist what had happened, and to let me know if she detected anything. Ten minutes later, she said my coat had a distinct whiff. I had to pack my coat into a trash bag for the day, and the journey home in the evening.

Cassie and I both did some research at work, and we found the following recipe:

• 1 Quart 3% Hydrogen Peroxide solution
• ¼ Cup Baking Soda
• 1 Teaspoon Dawn dish soap

We mixed the stuff up, used it as a shampoo on Gordon (which he didn’t like – another bath?!), and then washed it off. Then I washed him with regular dog shampoo, left the suds on for five minutes, then rinsed. That seemed to help a lot, but there were a couple of spots I missed, which I will attack tonight. Because it was late, and Gordon was still damp, I blowdried him, which again he’s not keen on, although I think he kind of liked getting his undercarriage aired out. I’ll repeat the special wash tonight.

When I lived in San Diego, the area I lived in wasn’t that great, and you would often smell skunk. The thing was, you didn’t know if it was an actual skunk, or someone smoking skunk, which is strong weed named because of the similarity in smell. I would have to close all my windows during the day to prevent the smell (and the neighbours) from getting in. The problem with that was that when I returned in the evening, the air conditioning controller would say it was 95°F in there. It would take the whole evening to cool down. Oakland is a lot better than that, even with the stinky wildlife.

On Tuesday I went into hospital for the procedure I mentioned here. The official title was “Excision of Palatal Lesion”. Basically, they took a cheese slicer to the roof of my mouth. It was rescheduled to be a day earlier than planned – originally they wanted to do it last week, but I delayed it until after our fancy Holiday Cocktail Party at the weekend (which was a huge success by the way).

Cassie took me to the hospital, and after checking in and being taken to my room, I changed into a disposable paper robe, with these weird vent holes in it. It turns out they could attach a hose to it and pump warm air in – very nice indeed, especially since the prep room was pretty chilly. A nurse put an IV in my hand – I hate needles, and I nearly broke the skin of my other hand biting it, when she put it in. I know they don’t hurt so much, but I do get the sweats when they come at me with one. Once it was in I was fine, and I just relaxed, talked to Cassie and watched Friends on the TV. Then they wheeled me down to the prep room.

As they wheeled me down I was reminded of that scene in Jacob’s Ladder, with the body parts and twitching manifestations around every turn (that’s not to say that my treatment at the hands of the nice people at CPMC was anything other than professional and competent – I have to say this in case Tort Reform has got so bad that doctors can now sue patients for making jokes). They set me up in the prep room, with the warm air pumping into my gown. The anesth-anaes-drugs guy came in and talked to me about what he had in store special for me that day – basically a sedative followed by a little cocktail of his own devising. Then Dr Song the surgeon came and said hello, and we wheeled into the OR. They strapped me in, and that’s the last I remember.

I woke in the recovery room, with Cassie waiting outside, and I felt OK – my lips were numb, my throat was sore. But the worst pain I had was in my calves. They had put these pumping wraps on there to help with circulation while I was under the knife/scraper/whatever. When I woke I felt like I’d done a thousand squats – my calf muscles were stiff and sore, and I had to get Cassie to help me flex my feet to get them moving. I had trouble walking to the car, and to the house when we got home – didn’t expect that at all.

I had to not eat for eight hours beforehand, and not drink for four – this didn’t seem so bad in the end. I was hungry and thirsty, but not in agony over it. Since the op I’ve been having soft foods, because I’ve got this plate wired to the roof of my mouth as a shield for the operated area. Pudding, homemade mushroom soup (blended so no bits – thanks Mom-in-law!), oatmeal, cereal left to go mushy, mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, cottage cheese. I have to rinse regularly with salt water, and do the old Clorhexidine rinse morning and night – dee-lish. I slept on the sofa the first night, propped up with pillows so my head wouldn’t throb. I dozed and watched TV until after 2am, which was a bit silly. Late night TV is pretty crappy – lots of boner pill ads, tax lawyers and such like. Since then I’ve been able to sleep regularly, and each day since has been a lot better. I’m on Amoxycillin, Ibuprofen and a nifty Hydrocodone/Tylenol mix – I am what is known in the medical world as “partying“.

Dr Song called me yesterday and said that they tested the tissue they removed, and found that they had got it all. On the other hand, the amount of abnormal cells had grown since the biopsy a couple of weeks ago, so it looks like I’ll be in observation for a while yet. Thank goodness for regular dental checkups.

That’s where we are now. I can just about eat regular food. I can chew fine, but the swallowing is a little painful. Xmas lunch may be a slow affair, and no booze for a while unless I feel like checking out completely. I’ve taken a look in my mouth with a mirror and a flashlight – it’s not a pretty sight. Then again, whose mouth looks great?

Thanks to all my friends and family that left messages on Facebook and elsewhere. I love you all!